I read a great article today by Jon Acuff, who is quickly becoming one of my favorite authors. His article today was titled, “Three People You Need to Ignore Online: The Spectator, The Hater, and The Complainer.” I loved this article. He writes it to encourage online bloggers- encouraging them to not listen to critics who don’t provide constructive criticism, but rather only have the sole purpose of destroying their dreams. But, not only does this article apply to online voices, but can also apply to voices in our daily lives. I want to make sure I capture this article and reflect back on it from time to time.
Jon Acuff’s Article
Here are 3 people to stay away from:
- The Spectator
Do you know who the football coach never invites into the locker room for some advice during halftime? The spectators. The wide receiver never runs into the stand and asks for feedback from someone sitting in the 10th row.
Why? Because spectators aren’t on the field. They aren’t playing. They’re watching other people do it.
What does that mean for you? It means you need to ignore the person who hates your blog but doesn’t have their own. They’re just a spectator. Their hands aren’t dirty. Their knowledge has not been paid for with experience. Ignore them. Instead, get feedback from other bloggers, other people who are in the trenches where you are.
- The Hater
It’s time to require the “squeaky wheel gets the oil” theory. For years it caused many of us to ignore the people who liked our dream in order to focus our energy on the people who hated it. (I call this theory, “Critic’s Math,” which is “1 insult + 1,000 compliments = 1 insult.” We have the ability to receive 1,000 compliments and ignore them in the face of 1 insult.)
The truth is, you should never waste time trying to turn someone who hates you into someone who likes you. Instead focus on turning people who like your dream into people who love your dream.
So how do you know who a hater is? Simple, someone who hates on something without a solution to make it better is a hater. If they don’t have a fix, an idea, a spark of improvement, they’re just there to hate. That’s one of the main differences between hate and feedback.
Feedback’s goal is to cause improvements. Hate’s goal is to cause wounds. Let them go.
- The Complainer
A complainer is someone who won’t respond when you attempt to fix a problem. For example, let’s say you strongly disagree with something I wrote on my blog and I ask you a clarifying question. If you don’t respond, you’re a complainer.
If you respond, you’re a conversationalist and we can talk. That’s completely different. We can debate. We can go back and forth until we might even reach a resolution. That’s the beauty of the Internet, a simple question can clarify so many of the nuances that can be misinterpreted.
There are going to be a thousand people you can’t ignore as you chase a dream. Friends, family, supporters, helpful critics, you will never run out of people you need to make time for. And a lot of them will have great feedback for you.
But cut yourself some slack and ignore the three we talked about today. Nothing good will come of giving them your time.
My 28 Thanks:
1. Words that bring Wisdom.
2. Great writers. I have had the honor of reading several of their works.
3. An education.
4. A love of reading.
5. I can ignore negative voices who don’t offer any constuctive help.
6. A beautiful morning.
7. 45 minutes of reading time.
8. My mom came to town for a visit.
9. Lunch together at Panera Bread.
10. Gary made an amazing fruit salad and we munched on it!
11. I ended my staycation with Pastor on Call duties. But, I only got one call today. That is a good way to ease back into work.
12. Got everything set up for Sunday in a timely manner.
13. Gary and I had a conversation about our dreams today.
14. I learn something new about my husband all the time.
15. He has some really great dreams.
16. I think I could totally help him with them.
17. My mom reminded me of one of my favorite children’s books. It is a Little Golden Book entitled, Charlie. I loved that book. The alley cat, Charlie, found a new home in a courtyard and played tiger in the grass. I looked for a while and finally found it online. But, it is currently sold out. I must get that book.
18. Sharing childhood memories with my mom.
19. My mom takes great care of herself. She is a beautiful woman and so healthy.
20. If I sit down, Judah always wants to be in my lap.
21. My little boy gave me lots of kisses today.
22. Hide and Seek is never boring with a 3 year old. We love playing games together.
23. Judah has made up a new game that makes all our wood floors “hot lava.” If I step on the floors, he becomes the lava monster and gets to get me. It is impossible to walk around in my home and avoid the hot lava…fun times!
24. Gary took Judah for a walk and let my mom and me enjoy a Hallmark movie together.
25. My mom still asks questions while watching a movie! She makes me smile.
26. We were able to help a guy with his car at the gas station today.
27. I am excited about the Back 2 School Fuel services and a new Back 2 School series I am putting together entitled, Shine the Light.